World Without Faith, Amen
by PudgeyGuy
Summary: Faith contemplates her existence. Angsty.
1. Default Chapter

Summary: Faith is contemplating her existence.   
  
When: During the last season but before the big battle scene.   
  
WORLD WITHOUT FAITH, AMEN  
  
I was never against the destiny gig. It seemed the sweetest set up. I got super-powers, wore the chillest trends, and got to kick undead ass.   
  
Sound all glitz and glam right?  
  
I thought it was. That is, until I met the *other* Slayer. Buffy Summers. God, how can that name strike fear into anyone? Now Faith, that is a threatening name. One word, like Madonna or Cleopatra.   
  
I was born in Boston, as opposed to B's luxurious L.A. home. I have dark brown hair, a deep contrast to Buffy's blond locks. I love to have fun and she…well, Buffy likes to cry a lot.   
  
So, explain this to me, why does a city girl who wants to make with the slayage end up second best to a bubble-headed ditz?  
  
Faith the Vampire Slayer.  
  
Now doesn't that have a sweeter chime to it? I think it does. So why is little Faithy always getting the short end of the stake? I was stabbed, put into a coma, lost any friends I had made, been branded as the "Big Bad" and then picked up by Angel, Vampire Extraordinaire, and recruited again for a war against the First Evil?  
  
And it's not like I was just stationary. I killed my fair share of vamps, demons, and whatnot. Granted, I helped the Mayor, but if Buffy and her gang hadn't tossed me aside like yesterday's paper then I wouldn't have gone to a big worm demon for comfort.   
  
Still, I've helped more than harmed.   
  
I fought Angel when his soul was stolen (again) and then went back to Sunnydale to help with the current Apocalypse Now situation. All that and no "Thanks Faith, we couldn't have done it without you."  
  
But it's this war is that's making me all hot and bothered.   
  
I'm in Buffy's house with two dozen other Slayers and surrounded by people I've either maimed, tried to kill or slept with. Needless to say, my coming here was nothing more than convenience. I've helped the SITs with training and even a little alley-way know how just in case. These girls, though most of them don't like me, they look up to me. I guess it's my fault that we're not all buddy-buddy. Maybe because I know that their life depends on what I teach them. If they're just faces, not names or people, then it wouldn't hurt so much when they die.   
  
Lower your eyebrows. I know I've killed a man before, and it's not something I'm proud of. It was the worst thing that's happened to me, and trust me, there's a good number of terrible deeds to choose from. I tried to play it off all Natural Born Killer, but I couldn't lie to myself. I was horrified, looking at the bleeding body of the Mayor's assistant. I kept wishing he'd turn to dust like he was supposed to, because he was supposed to be a vampire, not a mortal man.   
  
Damn it.   
  
When Willow told me that her girlfriend, Tara I think, was murdered by a bunch of nerds with guns, I actually felt more than sympathy for the red head. She lost someone she loved and I know that feeling well. At least Willow won't be single for long. That SIT, Kennedy, has been eyeing the little Wicca since I stepped into the house.   
  
Good for Willow. She deserves to be happy.  
  
Which bring me to my next thought: Do I deserve to be happy?   
  
I've never had a boyfriend, not anything serious anyway. I've never been on a date. That makes me sound pretty pathetic but that doesn't bother me much. At least I'm not like Buffy who keeps scoring with dead guys.   
  
Although that Spike character is a little slab of yum…  
  
I never said that.   
  
Anyway, I'm not one to ponder my future, but the question comes up once in a while.   
  
A Slayer's life is destiny, fate, what's been written in the Book of Prophecies. (Don't ask me if there really is an actual Book, it just sounds Watcher-y)  
  
Why can't I be the One Slayer? The All Mighty Ass-Kicker? I just can't stand being second best. No, not to Buffy Summers.   
  
And more importantly- and I've been thinking about this a lot lately- Buffy died fighting the Master, but somehow came back to life. Another Slayer, Kendra, came to take her place. But she died fighting some broad named Drusilla. Then, I was called. But Buffy is still alive. So, does that make my destiny forfeit? If there is only supposed to be *the* one, the original, the fastest and strongest warrior, it's Buffy. So, where does that leave me?  
  
Is Faith, the Vampire Slayer even supposed to exist at all?  
  
What is my destiny?  
  
Should there be a world without Faith?  
  
To Be Continued… 


	2. Bad Girls

Chapter Two: Bad Girls  
  
Summary: Spike and Faith's relationship evolve, but not in the way that the renegade Slayer expected…  
  
"Reading a Slayer's diary is hazardous to a vampire's health," Faith proclaimed, walking down the basement steps. Spike jumped and threw the black notebook away from him. The Slayer followed the journal's airborne path with a slightly bemused expression. "Yeah, like I wouldn't notice *that*."   
  
"I eh, don't know what you're talking about," Spike lied, resting against the wall and wincing as a manacle jabbed his spine.   
  
"Did you read anything illuminating in there?" Faith retrieved the diary and sat down besides the blond vampire on his bed.   
  
"Rather interesting bits." Spike agreed. He reached into his pants and removed a carton of cigarettes. He offered Faith one, which she took, and the two shared in what I like to call Smoker's Silence. At short length, Faith twirled the fag between her fingers and watched the lighted tip leave trails of orange light. "I didn't think a girl like you would keep a diary," the vampire said, blowing smoke rings.  
  
"Yeah well, I'm like a cold sore on your crotch the morning after a hot date. One big surprise." Faith took another drag from the cigarette and eyed Spike. "When I was in jail, I saw a therapist. She told me to try keeping a diary since I wouldn't tell her anything. She even bought me this snazzy little notebook."  
  
"Nice lady, that one."   
  
"Yeah, she was all right. I would have stopped when Wes and I broke out of the penitentiary. But being here now, it's made me all mopey and walking woundish."   
  
"Nothin' to be ashamed of. Pain is what makes a person, whether a random bloke on the street or a Vampire Slayer."  
  
"Look at you with your philosophical goodness." she smiled, her full red lips spreading over glistening white teeth.   
  
"Having a bloody chip in your nocker gives you time to reflect. Especially with the lack of killing and all."   
  
Faith and Spike settled into comfortable silence once more. The Slayer threw the butt of the cigarette on the floor and crushed it with a boot.   
  
"So, you wanna make with the sex?" she asked bluntly, looking at the vampire with unnerving frankness. Spike nearly choked on the acrid smoke and coughed. "Oh that's sexy," Faith said sarcastically.   
  
"Eh, what's with the rush?" Spike asked.  
  
"What's with the wait?" Faith countered.   
  
"Nothin', I just know that sex with a Vampire Slayer tends to hurt more than I would like. I like my bullocks right where they are thank you."   
  
"Come on, you remember that night in the Bronze, when I was in B's body." she smirked and Spike couldn't deny the fiery lust running down his chest to his nether regions. "How I'll use muscles you never thought existed. How I'll make you pop like warm champagne…" she crawled on all fours on the bed, slinking like a panther. Her curly brown hair, black in the gloom, veiled her face. She crept atop Spike, her nose nuzzling the stunned vampire.   
  
"You're making it hard to refuse Black Beauty," Spike positioned himself so that the Slayer's body rubbed pleasingly against his own thin frame.   
  
"Is that all I make hard?" Faith asked, parting her lips and lowering her eye lids. She kissed Spike's neck, licking the thick jugular vein, which elicited a slight gasp from the vampire.  
  
"Hey Faith, Spike, we're going patrolling- woops!" Willow eeped as she saw the scene, not expecting to walk into *that* situation. Faith laughed and got off of Spike.   
  
"Sure Red, who's comin' with?"  
  
"The SIT's. They need more field experience." the Wicca replied. "Um, or you guys can stay and do…well…whatever it is that I'm wishing I didn't walk in on." Willow seemed confused for a bit, then ascended the steps. Buffy came down the stairs, looking at her friend oddly, then turning to the other Slayer.   
  
"What's with Will?"  
  
"Nothing." Faith smirked and went past Buffy.   
  
"What was that about?" the blond Slayer asked the blond vampire.   
  
"Another situation I shouldn't have gotten into."   
  
"Um, ok…" Buffy shrugged. "You want to come with us? We might need you in case the Bringers or Caleb show up."  
  
"Sure thing. Just uh, give me a minute. It'll be up in a minu- I mean *I'll* be up in a minute."   
  
Lifting a slender brow quizzically, Buffy shrugged and went upstairs.   
  
"Why do I always fall for the bad girls?" Spike shook his head and drew the zipper down…  
  
*** 


End file.
